--I’VE STOLEN THE MOON FOR YOU, AND I WILL AGAIN

…A room without books is like a body without a soul.  That’s why I always do my best to stay out of the basement and the attic.

…If I knew I was going to live this long, I would have taken better care of myself.

…I’ve lost a lot of stuff over the years.  Some of it I have searched for with a fierce intensity, and the rest of it I just let go.  Sometimes you let stuff go and you regret that you were so incredibly stupid to do such a thing, and then you want it back even more than you wanted it in the first place.

…The people that light you up, that make you feel alive--sometimes more than you even knew you could be—those are the ones to spend time with, as much as you can.  Truly. 

…The devil may care, but sometimes he doesn’t mind.  Sometimes he’s an indifferent sonofabitch without the agenda you think he has.

…Last week I saw two Hispanic girls, about six or seven, tops.  The less pretty one was very bossy and she tried showing the more pretty one how to dance.  They were cousins, or so I deduced.  It was quite entertaining to watch, and also completely adorable, the kind of adorable which can make an adult giggle and not stop.  After a while, bossy pants got her Cuz to figure out the steps and swings and timing, and they danced and danced, right there in the courtyard restaurant.  It was a little miracle.

…Sometimes I’m a handrail.  Sometimes a bucket.  Sometimes the bucket leaks, and sometimes it doesn’t.  It spills over.

…My idea of everything going smoothly on an airplane is (a) that I not die in a slow-motion fiery crash and (b) that none of the other passengers try to talk to me.

…I’ll be an annoying old man soon enough.  Maybe I am already.  You tell me.

…All things considered, I coping quite well, or at least that’s what my therapist says, though what does he know?

…To be a survivor, to be the one who gets to see how things all turned out—well, one pays an exorbitant price for that honor.

…Reasons for living never come cheap.

…It’s so lovely to celebrate the life of a person who is still here, to have a chance to shine our best light on them as they have shone their light on us, before the light goes out.

…Catastrophes can be expensive, in more ways than one.

…Willingness comes from pain, and prayer helps.  At least it seems to, but who knows?

…The idea is to start being kind to yourself if you can.  You breathe, you eat, you think a little.  You remember that God is present wherever people suffer and He’s here with us when we’re miserable.  And the way to not lose your mind is to do your best to take care of the suffering you can.

…Peace is joy at rest, and joy is peace at its feet. 

…There aren’t a lot of people like this, but my biggest mentor was the epitome of you saw what you got.  That’s so rare and refreshing that it can also be a little alchemical.  I’d like to see him right now.

…Joy comes in the morning when you open your eyes, but most times, even with our eyes open, we don‘t see it.

Rumi was such a smart dude—“Dance when you’re broken open.  Dance if you’ve torn the bandage off…”

…How rarely we get to float.  That’s because we’re usually afraid the wind will blow us away, which is why we carry all that extra weight.

…Anyone would understand if we gave up and settled.  But these are our lives.  So we try, we do the work of becoming saner and more authentic, which is hard enough without having people doubt us.

…People ask for things all the time.  That’s okay.  But when they ask, “Did you by any chance bring a spear,” the smart move might be to play deaf.

…Do you want to be happy, or do you want to be right?—it’s not Hamlet, but it’s a question that’s in the neighborhood.  Hmmm.

…Hitting first—someone or something—has always been the mark of evil.      

…Not everything is going to be okay.  Trust me on this.  Especially in January in Seattle.  January has to be the season of the witch—the time of darkness, rain, mold and reckoning after the wrap of a year when you subconsciously take stock in all that you did, or failed to do.  You get through January, and the rest is cake.

…The good news is we’re all doomed, which means you can give up your sense of control.

…I often remind myself that the stars are not all one color: There are orange stars, red stars, pale yellow stars.

  

…I don’t recommend it, but sometimes I can get a little lippy with God.  Like saying to Him, “Look, I’m sure you know what you’re doing, but my patience is beginning to wear a little thin,” or “What on earth were you thinking?”  Still, I wouldn’t put anything past God because She is one crafty mother.

…Darkness is our context.  Without it, no one would be able to see the light.

…For the last seven or so years since I’ve been writing full-time, I’ve been trying to get into this online magazine called Wigleaf.  It’s one of the best out there, and highly regarded.  Each year they put out a list of the 50 best stories of the year culled from tens of thousands and it’s a big deal to make the list.  I’ve been lucky to be on it several times.  Still, Wigleaf itself never actually accepted a story of mine, and each rejection I received from them was always incredibly kind and thoughtful, which kept my hopes up.  So finally, finally, I have a piece, “On Top of the World” up in their issue that just came out, as well as a strange postcard I wrote.  Here they are: http://wigleaf.com/

 …The world is not an easy place, but it’s a place of significance nonetheless.  There are wonders happening all over the world right this second, literally millions of wonders each second.  I mean, wow.  I try to remind myself when the news throws its black shroud at me.

  

…”What good will it do to do nothing?”—the answer to this question seems to be the real key.

…Some people are not like the others.  Some people stop you with their presence, like punctuation, they make you remember why you are here.

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--WHO LET THE DOGS OUT?

…”Life is a bitch.” 

I see that on bumper stickers all the time, but you have to wonder:  Why isn’t it pure bliss just to be alive?

…Yesterday was the best day in a long while.  It’s funny how little it takes to make a day great.  I am grateful for yesterday.  I am entirely grateful for you.

…All those blinks show we have to find what’s important to us.  After all, we only get so many of them.  I am grateful again.

…The truth is, I don’t know what I’m expecting anymore.

…Most people go through life trying to avoid pain and suffering, and while that might seem like a good idea, it’s not always.  Sometimes the pain and suffering teaches us our priorities.

…As unimaginable as it is, I don’t think I’ve yet felt the full extent of my suffering.

…Today’s post was to be something different altogether.  I had it all written up.  I had a partial, personal poem written to my mother on that potential post.  I had other personal things I was going to share.  Then it disappeared.  It’s probably my fault, but I blame it on the new MacBook.  Fucking Mac, you carnivore.

…My mind keeps thinking all of its harsh thoughts.  Sometimes it seems like my mind is not mine.  Does that make me schizophrenic?  Probably.

...Your mind will sneak out of the bushes and ambush you if you’re not careful.  So it’s best to listen, then, for the rattling of the leaves.

…Some kids do stuff that leave their parents shaking their heads, sadly disappointed.  But really, it’s good for a kid to have balls.  It’s a sign they’re going to be all right when they’re older because they have moxie (which is, by the way, one of my favorite words--moxie.).  Kids should have balls, no matter their gender.

…I also wrote lengthy (but bleak) (surprise!) poem that was on said-before erased post.  It had to do with depression and nightfall.  I think it was pretty good.  But, oh well, supposedly, no writing is wasted, even if it disappears.  But damn, Mac, why do you hate me so much?  

…I think it would help if I stopped listening to Ed Sheeran and Sam Smith.  The only music that could make me sadder would be that other Smith, Elliot.  And we all know what—tragically—happened there.

…What a sadist I am. Sadist or monster, which is it?

…”What do you really want?”   Now there’s a really well-asked question.  Thoughtful and provocative.

…The reason I never give up hope is because everything is basically hopeless.  And, also, because without hope, we are all fucked.

…Sometimes my dog makes noises in her sleep and she sounds like Ethel Merman with a towel wrapped around her mouth like a muzzle. It’s kind of cute, but kind of weird.  I wonder what she could possibly be dreaming.  My guess is chasing rabbits or squirrels.

…I can be a catastrophe, but I try to be a polite one.  Like a hurricane which swings off to the seas instead of sideswiping the coastline.

…I’m in pieces.  If you should find one on the ground, let it be.  I have to find my way back by itself.

…When I was a kid, it was like we had dog brains, and whatever was right in front of us was our reality.  But then, not really.  Not when you looked around at the brass tax of the situation and realized you were different, we were different, this is totally wrong.

…I know I can’t be nine years old forever, hiding in a closet, huddled beneath coat sleeves, safe from the sounds of destruction.  And still I am.  Goddamn, still I am.

…I have a stranger who lives five yards from my office.  Really, I do.  It’s a little freaky.  I hear her TV shows, her sneezing, her talking to herself.  She’s like a loud ghost, and ghosts just usually subtly rattle things.  

…I have always been a numbers guy.  Not like, a math guy.  I totally suck at math.  But a goal-setting guy.  I still believe in the importance of goals, but I’m not interested in keeping score anymore on the other stuff.

…The other stuff is the stuff I have to work through.

…Being human can sometimes feel like being discarded, which is why being human is a real stretch for me sometimes.

…You gotta be cruel to be kind…. I never understood that lyric until recently.  But even now, it doesn’t make complete sense.

…I’ve had the same song stuck in my head for two weeks.  That happens frequently with me.  “So I pick up the pieces, get on the midnight train”…. So tragic.

…I’m actually looking forward to today.  I’ll be with young people.  It’ll be an adventure.  I’ll learn things.  I’ll sing a new song and I might even whistle at some point.

…Do you want to talk?

---I’M WALKING ON WIRE

…It’s a quarter after one, I’m a little drunk….

…And sometimes, even late at night, it’s like I have a carwash inside my head, or else a tennis shoe bouncing around in the dryer.

…I didn’t see that coming.  But then people surprise you all the time, and not always in a good way.

…You can spend a lot of needless time doing the arithmetic of adding what damage has been done.

…Nothing can be delicious when you’re holding your breath.  For something to be delicious, you have to be present to savor it, and presence is in attention and the flow of breath.

…I may be lost, but my breath is still fresh, or could be.

…You can change the world with a hot bath, if you sink into it from a place of knowing that you’re worth profound care, even when you’re dirty and rattled.  Who knew?

…I naturally prefer the company of people who hold grudges, as long as they’re not held against me.

…Contrary to popular opinion, all of us are a little weird, but we can also be so lovely that it breaks your heart.

…A heart that’s been broken is a heart that’s been loved.  Anyway, that’s what I’ve heard.

…Sometimes I wake up so early the rabbits are still playing poker.

…Who really knows how much of our stories are true?

…It’s so awful attacking someone you love.  It’s like bitch-slapping E.T.

…Let’s face it, it’s inspiring and such a relief when people find a way to bear the unbearable.  That’s why I’m still working on it.

…For a long time, I had the disease of More.  It’s one of the dumbest diseases ever, all up there in your head, nutty and grabby as hell.

…Once bitten, twice shy.  I ain’t looking again.

…Having a good dog is the closest some of us are ever going to come to knowing the direct love of a mother, or God.

…I’ve been politely angry lots of time.  Now that’s a tight rope to walk.

…This is how we make important changes—barely, poorly and slowly.

…Some things you experience are like having a broken leg, and then that leg heals badly, and you end up limping forever.

…It’s possible to drown in uncried tears.  It is.

…Copernicus had it right, but no one believed him at the time.

…I’ve taken to carrying a mirror around with me everywhere I go so I know I’m still here.  Am I still here?  Let me check.

…I’m standing at the mouth of the river and the current looks a little unruly.

…Sometimes you’re just a coat that gets thrown over a mud puddle so someone can walk over you without getting dirty, and that’s the way it’s supposed to be.

…I was a vacant alibi.  That’s not a lot of fun.

…Sometimes I feel like a human rain delay that this is going to take a long while to recover from.

…Whip, whip.  Run me a like a race horse, pull me like a ripcord.

…Hey there, Mr. Blue.  We’re so pleased to be with you.  Everybody smiles at you.  Blue—now there’s a color.

…Mr. Blue Sky’s up there waiting.  Where did we go wrong?

…When people miscommunicate, it’s easy to jump to conclusions.  One conclusion might be that the relationship is flawed simply because of the miscommunication, but that’s naïve and taking the easy way out.  Hell, people miscommunicate all the time, people who’ve been together forever.  Miscommunication is part of life.  It is life.  Get over it.

…For several days now, I have had a caterpillar cold sore on my upper lip.  I’m not proud of it.  It’s been pretty gross.  I hope you don’t get cold sores.  I hope you get glide tidings instead.  You’ve got them so many times before.

…Who do you think you are?  No, really, who?  That’s certainly a question to ponder.

…I hope you’re happy with yourself.  That’d be a bold thing, considering.

…Here’s to my future.  Goodbye to yesterday.